The secret of a good marriage is love – Ezinne Felicia Igboeli

Ezinne Felicia Chinwe Igboeli

Ezinne Felicia Chinwe Igboeli in Waterloo, Canada with her son Dr. Okechukwu Igboeli, his wife Ada and daughter Bella. 

Ezinne Felicia Chinwe Igboeli, an accomplished educationist and marriage counsellor, was recently honoured with Ambassador of Christ Award by St Peter’s Anglican Church, Abagana, Anambra State. In this interview with CHIKE OJUKWU, she spoke about the award and secrets of a good marriage.

Madam, please kindly state your name and background.

I am Ezinne Felicia Chinwe Igboeli from Abagana in Anambra State. I am a retired teacher, with specialisation in Guidance and Counselling. I have a Bachelor of Education Degree from University of Nigeria Nsukka (UNN). My parents were Late Catechist Jonathan Nwobi-Okoye and Ma Grace Nwobi-Okoye (née Azie of Eziowelle). I was married to Late Samuel Igboeli of Orofia Village, Abagana.

How will you describe your husband?
My husband, Late  Mr Samuel Nweke Chukwuekezie Igboeli was a handsome and godly husband. His late father, Catechist James Igboeli, was one of the first eight converts in Abagana.
Late Pa James and his wife, late Margaret Igboeli were missionaries in the Anglican Communion.
My husband’s missionary background explains why he was a disciplined man, a loving husband and a compassionate father.
My husband, an accomplished civil servant, retired as a conservationist and Chief Forest Officer in charge of Abakiliki, Ebonyi State capital.

How was your marriage?
Our marriage was awesome and blessed. We wedded in Ibadan in 1965, while my husband was at Federal College of Forestry, Ibadan (FEDCOFOR), a subsidiary of Forestry Research Institute of Nigeria (FRIN).Our marriage was blessed with seven children, fifteen grand-children, and one great grand-son. We enjoyed a humble and happy home. We trained our children and wards in the way of the Lord. By God’s mercies our children and their spouses are trained professionals in such fields as Law, Pharmacy, Engineering, Mass Communication, Academia, Medicine and Veterinary Medicine.

What is the secret of your long and successful marriage?
The secret of my marriage is the love of God and adherence to the Bible. We put God first in our decisions and family life.The Bible and its principles helped us to navigate through the challenges of life. These Christian tenets and faith in God helped us to enjoy our marriage and build a happy home. I also taught these godly principles to all our children, grand-children, great grand-children and dependents. I enjoyed teaching them biblical quotations, to enable them to face life with courage and confidence in God’s providence.
Proverbs 22:6 says: ‘Train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old, he will not depart from it.’ Ephesians 6:4 says: ‘And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord.’

You recently received a prestigious Ambassador of Christ Award from St Peter’s Anglican Church Abagana, Anamabra State. How will the award impact your service in the church and community? 
The award is very significant to me and my family because it is a recognition of my long service in the women’s ministry, as well as the church in general. I served for several years in the Women’s Executive Committee. The honour will motivate me to continue to serve in God’s vineyard in various ministries according to God’s grace and provisions to me and my family. I will personally love to continue to donate financially to evangelical and welfare projects in St. Peter's Church, Abagana, as part of my contributions to church growth and development.This award will also make people to be committed and hard working especially in church programmes.To God be the Glory!

What is your advice to young couples?
Love is the secret of a good marriage. Young couples should love themselves in all circumstances. Wives should be submissive to their own husband's. Ephesians 5:22-23, 25 says it explicitly: ‘Wives submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church and he is the saviour of the body. Husbands love your wives just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her.’ It is also very  important that husbands must love and cherish their wives for the marriage to be enjoyed and blessed.

Also couples should honour the sanctity of marriage by shunning immorality and ostentatious lifestyles. People must learn to live a contented life by living within their means. This will reduce problems in many marriages. For me  marriage is a joint venture not a competition. Couples should not  compete with each other or compare themselves with other families especially in terms of wealth and achievements. Competitiveness may derail some families and lead to inordinate ambitions and tension.The bible warns severally about these vices and lusts, due to their negative consequences on families and society. People should learn to look up to God and the Holy Spirit in their decisions. For me, God remains  the best guide and teacher according to Hebrews 12:2 ‘Looking up to Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith.’

What is your advice to young mothers?
I advise young mothers to take adequate care of their husbands, children and wards, through providing good nutrition, quality education and christian principles. You can also teach others by your character. Family prayer times are very important because it is often said that ‘a family that prays together stays together’. Older christian mothers and widows should also endeavour to live a holy and contented life because God knows best how to meet everyone’s needs.

What is your motto in life?
My motto in life is to love God and help the less-privileged by God’s grace.

What is your favourite Bible verse?
My favourite Bible verse is Psalm 23:5- 6 ‘Thou preparedst a table before me in the presence of my enemies; thou anointedst my head with oil; my cup runneth over.’

What is your favourite Bible personality?
My favourite Bible personality is Sarah because she loved and obeyed her husband Abraham.

Ezinne you look quite beautiful and strong for your age. What is the secret of your youthful look and longevity?
It is simply God’s grace, he gives me the courage and peace to overcome life’s challenges. I am naturally a positive and cheerful person. I also love to exercise and eat wisely. I make stringent efforts to live in peace and forgive easily because needless time and energy are wasted on malice and vendetta.The Bible says that ‘offences will always occur.’ Hence one has to seek peace at all times. The Bible is replete wih verses on how to enjoy a peaceful, happy and youthful  life. Ephesians 4:26 says ‘In your anger do not sin. Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry.
Matthew 18:21-22 says: ‘Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?” Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.’ Finally I believe that God is the giver and sustainer of life. It is by His divine grace and mercy that I am what I am today. I give God all the glory and trust him to continue to bless me  and make me and my family a blessing in Jesus name.

How do you describe your experiences in Canada and USA?
Life in Canada and America is totally different. People tend to live independent lifestyles in this part of the world. The social interaction back home in Nigeria is not here. Well it is easier for younger people to cope with. The weather also restricts movements and social activities especially in Canada.
But generally the people in Canada tend to be good  and  warm up to strangers.